As I spent my Saturday working in the toyshop, then cleaning the house. I sat down to focus of my study and put together the latest order for my assorted printers, listening to the sounds of extremely large men violently bouncing off each other ( Go the Wallabies, lol seriously though it looks like they are heading to do a nudey run if they don't score soon)
I started thinking about what the last 12 months has bought me. Around September I found out that the local Toyshop was for sale. It had been for a while but only advertised it on a weird website and their unfollowed Facebook page. I had looked at buying it 3 years before, looked over figures and chatted to the bank and real estate but we were not in a position to do so... turned out while disappointed the Universe was looking out for me. *starts singing Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers" because you can take the girl out of Taree but you cant take the Taree out of the girl *
What followed was in order FIRE, PANDEMIC and FLOOD. And my little fabric hobby boomed. I got to leave my most hated casual job and just focus on my Beautiful Fabrics. I got to have a staff member twice a week help out ( who also just happened to be an amazing friend. But as things started going back to normal since 2023 business sloooooooowwwwweeedd, but it is hard to tell if it was my multiple break downs from working 14 hour days 7 days a week, because when your business is at home... you are in it constantly. Or if it had just gone back to normal?
But I digress, So we bought a Toy Shop. 
OMG. A dream come true. It was like everything I had ever done in my life had bought me to this point. Anyone that was told would say.. of course you did I am actually surprised it took this long. I knew I would need to wind back inklings for a little bit. Had a few sales to clear the stock and hopefully get my through the months I wasn't running things and then the time I didn't have any retail listed. I started running preorders again. I actually don't remember January much. It was a lot. It was such a steep learning curve and Toyfair was in February, I can't express how excited and exhausted I was for three whole days. .. where you need to almost gamble with your money and do most of your Toy orders until December,with no actual experience. My husband had resigned in October... but was still working full time at his old job at this point. By the end of Feb I was trying to juggle 2 full time jobs along with being a wife and mother. Something had to give.
I decided to sell Inklings. It had to go to someone that would fit. It was my baby, people had a certain expectation of it. I have lots of interest. And it was such and emotional time for me that I honestly didn't expect. I thought I was ready. But when push came to shove.. I looked deep inside and realised that over the last years I had built not just a business but a community. My husband had a look at the figures and did a spreadsheet or 7, and said... You know together we could run both.
So he stopped looking around for another job and started focusing on OUR two businesses. He is finally finishing up work next month and will be all in. Thank gods for that.
On top of all that we have had assorted family visits. Birthdays. Family fall aparts and put togethers. The highs and lows of teenagers becoming adult. Sickness, hospitals, mental health issues rearing their ugly head again. Birthday fun. And Putting a child on a plane to live far far away.
This year has seen many fabric businesses close. Online, in person... Lost fabrics, found fabrics... moving Inklings out of the house and learning finally a bit of work life balance. I still haven't figured out how to make friends when you are a mature aged introvert who loves more fandoms then you can poke a stick at and isn't really a fan of humans just as a whole. There are no mum's groups for semi empty nesters.
*image of a mother definitely not keeping her shit together while her Boy flies off on an adventure
My Eldest has moved to America for a bit my Middle child is now an adult and working full-time and trying to find a rental to move out ( an adult living at home is a weird and complicated thing) and the youngest is about to start driving lessons.
I know with all this Inklings has suffered. And it breaks my heart a bit as someone who has always prided herself on customer service. I have never been the fastest or the most organised or professional. But i have always been honest about any mistakes and tried to make it better.
My hope is that when Luke is fully onboard I can follow the roster and Inklings will get the focus it deserves. I will have time to reorganise the website. The make sure orders are arriving correct and promptly. To go back to doing the parts I love like designing. To sew. Oh to have time to dust off the overlocker and just enjoy making a few things.
This year has been a lot. I ended up going to get some help and I have started medication to help with my anxiety as it had become paralyzing. And when that happens depression sneaks in , and thoughts that should remain unthought make themselves known.
*All credit to the artist responsible for this image as I couldnt find who it was... but it spoke to me.
It has helped a lot. I now eat and sleep ( most of the time). Mental health isn't spoken about enough or at least not in the right way. So many people see it as an excuse. I can only assume those people have never experienced it.
* If you find yourself struggling please know you re not alone. Reach out to someone. I have a special place in my heart for the Black dog insititute. And I am hoping to participate in the One foot Forward.
https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
People often say "I don't know how you do so much" LOL I have to. I can't work unless the space is clean. Like I literally can not focus on anything unless the house is clean. I can't sit and relax. I can't catch up on paper work.
I always think back to the Bluey episode where Chilli says "I don;t know how to relax. Its harder then it looks"
https://youtu.be/4BjkVNshsPs?si=FyBR06BijnWxeu6Y (ICYMI)
My Aim for the rest of the year. Smash the Christmas time stuff at the Toyshop, I have so much stock coming ( feel free to book in for a trip to Yamba for Christmas and fabric shopping) . Get Inklings back to the amazing place it was before, with stocked up retail and personal service ( also people coming in to shop in person!) To smash it at the Brisbane Craft & Quilt fair, y'all should really come along its gonna be fun Fran and all the ladies will be there in our own little corner. I am also going to go to see my son at Disneyworld for a week at the end of October. And I am determined to just have fun with my boys while I still can. And just enjoy my school reunion with some people I adore. Oh and sell the house and move to a property. So you know.. just the usual stuff called life.
I hope you will keep joining me on this wild ride. There is so much great art still to come.
Sending love to you all
